Not giving up

I tracked all week. At points I was down by 2+ pounds. Today I'm up above where I started. I'm beginning to realize two things....I make bad choices and I eat when I'm not hungry....those are my goals for improvement for the week. 

The shift

I got angry enough at the scale this weekend to change my attitude. I can feel the shift. I knew I needed a breaking point and this weekend I hit it. Today I passed up dunkin donuts. Today I felt hungry and that was ok. Today I charted all my food. Today I had willpower. I found a new app for food tracking....myplate. I like it better than myfitnesspal. It is more visual and my weight is staring me in the face every time I open it. I'm not stressing about exercise. I'm going to focus on food. And when I want to eat more I will get my ass in gear and exercise. And thankfully the sun came out today....both in reality and metaphorically.

My obstacles

I'm not doing well with this weight loss thing. I've got a lot of obstacles (I know, I know, no excuses...but they feel real to me). I was talking to my boss about needing to figure out how to exercise with no time and she asked if maybe Philip could take the kids to school so I could exercise in the morning. Well, for many reasons, that doesn't solve the problem which I immediately said because of course there is always an excuse why I can't exercise. But what our conversation did for me was make me start thinking about my excuses. I have a lot of excuses but the only real one is that I don't like my schedule to change. I like my schedule to stay the same and now that I've adapted to my new job schedule, I don't want to change again. So, realizing that makes me see that I just need to set exercise in my new schedule and make that a part of it. But, that means confronting my real obstacles.

1. long commute - I have a 45 minute commute each way without even including the time I need to drop the boys. So, about an hour commute on a normal traffic day. Solution - no one yells at me if I'm late for work
2. time - well, I'm sitting blogging when i could be walking. I get an hour lunch even though I rarely take it. I used to get up at 5:00 every morning but now can't seem to wake up before 5:30.
3. kids - this is a very real obstacle however for a week I was able to walk at 5:00 even with Mathew going upstairs with me. I like my kids to eat breakfast at school so I need them at school before 7:30. Solution: If we left the house at 7:00 then I'd probably be able to make it to work by 8.
4. me - I'm the true obstacle. i want this weight loss thing to be easy but it's never been easy. Yes, when I could structure my life to fit my needs (single, no kids) it was easier but I'm not trading my kids and hubby for skinniness so I've got to figure it out. My new favorite managerial quote "attitude over ability". As a manager I'd rather have an employee with a good attitude even if they don't have ability. I can teach ability but I can't change attitude....only the employee can change attitude. I have to change my attitude and quit using my real obstacles as excuses and instead finding little opportunities to do what i need to do for me.

Week 2....oh, well....

I can't believe I've lost it all on just Week 2. I want to blame it on other things but I've no one to blame it on but myself.....

Goal 1: Walk at least 20 minutes a day.
      ***I didn't walk at all. :( I just could not make myself get up and walk. The kids kept getting up in the middle of the night....4 nights in a row....I used that to justify my extra 30 minutes of sleep. I did take a long walk with the boys today but I have to do better.

Goal 2: Snack on fruits and vegetables.
      ***I can't say I totally failed on this one. We made a bunch of granola bars last weekend so even though I wasn't snacking on a ton of fruits and veggies, I made some healthy snack choices.

Goal 3: Eat every 3 hours.
     ***I did consciously do this on the days I was at work. The couple snow days I just ate basically all day. Not good!

Goal 4: No evening sweet fix.
     ***Girl Scout cookies EVERY night. 150 extra unnecessary calories every night.

Goal 5: Drink 8 glasses of water
    ***I still struggle with this but I'm trying to consciously drink water. I drank way too much caffeine this week.

I'm ready for Spring. I want to walk outside. I truly struggle with the walking on the treadmill. I started only allowing myself to read while on the treadmill but then the book got the best of me and I had to finish it. I have no self control. That is my main problem. I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL.

Oh, and no weight update....my scale broke...it really did...that is not an excuse...LOL