What I know as truth

For 5 years before I had kids I was caffeine free. I felt great and lost a ton of weight. Since then my caffeine intake has escalated to the point that it is causing me to ride an energy roller coaster. I've also had a lot of anxiety over the last year or so to the point that I reached out for meds to help with it. The meds make me feel even worse so I don't take them. Instead I started researching and looking for patterns. Because of pregnancy I also started using Splenda since sweet-n-low is a pregnancy no-no. I decided a week ago to cut out Splenda completely and Reduce my caffeine to 1 cup of coffee a day. The change is incredible. In just one week I feel calmer, my mind is clearer, I'm sleeping better, and my energy level is up. Friday I stupidly grabbed a soda at lunch, just a small bottle, and I felt awful all afternoon from the caffeine yo-yo. I'm starting smoothie breakfasts this week. And I'm ok with the fact that I gained back the ten pounds I lost the last couple months. I turn 40 in 6 days. It is what it is at this point.

As Dory says...

Just keep on swimming, keep on swimming, swimming, swimming. I gain 3, I lose 4, I gain 4, I lose 3. It is a frustrating cycle. I'm walking 4-5 nights a week. I'm watching my food. I have nothing to blame it on. I highly doubt I will make my goal by 40 but that's ok. My real goal is to be healthy and active and have healthy and active kids. Day before day I strive to reach that goal.

Step by step

5 out of 7 days last week I walked at least 30 minutes a day and most days I hit 10,000 steps. This morning I weighed and I was lower than I've been in 4 years!!! 181.4 pounds. Thank you Fitbit zip for motivating me. My goal each day is to get 10,000 steps and 30 active minutes. I don't hit my goal every day but I strive for it. My kids ask to walk in circles (walking laps in the house) and it makes me happy. They even get excited when I go upstairs to exercise on the treadmill. I used to think I needed to wait until they were asleep to exercise but I see now how important it is for them to see me exercising. They need to see mom and dad active and eating well.

I did it!

I walked 10,000 steps today!!! And more than just the steps, I'm proud of myself for walking on the treadmill. That's huge for me. 

A new low

I hit a new low yesterday...not lowest weight...the other kind of low... I hit bottom AGAIN. I ordered a frosted lemonade at chikfila because my sis said it was awesome. I forgot to order it with diet lemonade, it didn't taste good, and I drank the whole thing anyways. Seriously? 330 pointless calories. 

Yesterday I was talking with Teri at work who is early 50's. She told me the best advice she'd gotten to maintain weight was to eat 1% less for every year you are over 30. This is to maintain, not lose. This requires math that is too strenuous for this early in the day but I'm going to calculate this and see if I think it will help.

I put my shoes on to walk on the treadmill this morning and Phil immediately started in about how I need to walk fast and sweat and get my heart rate up. I immediately shut him down. Right now I just need to move my body. The rest will come but if I feel defeated before I even start I will never start. This is my journey.

The not-so-skinny of it

I'm a stress eater. I can't pass up a cookie/cake/donut if my life depends on it. I can justify my need for that bad food item easily. I don't exercise. It has to stop. There are few things in life we can truly control but our decisions are one of them. I need to choose to say no! I've lost some but not enough. 40 will be here before I know it. 

Goals:

1. Stick to my "mock nutrisystem" plan.

2. Walk 10,000 steps (I bought a Fitbit zip)

3. Drink half my body weight in water.

4. Go to bed earlier....this has gotten out of hand.

5. Paint

Struggling

I'm struggling. I've gained 4 lbs this week. How is that? Gotta get ultra focused. We ate out a couple times last weekend and we also ate real food for dinner more this week than in the last month. I ordered a Fitbit zip and will institute some sort of exercise routine but not sure what. I'm disappointed in this set back.